Comforts
by krackensan
Summary: Trowa thought that he knew Quatre Winner, and that he could keep his feelings for the pilot of Sandrock a secret, but a mission gone wrong, and a harrowing rescue attempt, prove to him that he doesn't know Quatre at all, or himself. Yaoi, Trowa P.O.V.
1. Man Down

Kracken

Disclaimer:I don't own them and I don't make any money off of this.  
Warning:Male/male sex, language, angst, sap, though some gruesome war type scenes.

Comforts 3x4 Trowa's P.O.V.

I used every tactic that I knew to get through enemy lines. I was a captain, a private, a cook, and a messenger. I crawled on my belly through mud and even used a pile of tagged and bagged dead soldiers as cover. I made it, just, and couldn't believe, when I reached Quatre's hiding place, how he had managed to choose somewhere so obvious, yet so perfect. It caused me to reassess my opinion of him. Yes, I'd thought of him as an innocent rich boy; dedicated, but soft. Now I was seeing the steely side of him, the hard edge that was sheathed in that softness. It took a firm courage and mind to trust your immunizations and hide in a plague containment lock down. Even if the enemy had discovered his distress signals, I doubt many would have wanted to go in after Quatre, even dressed in bio suits. Some of the weapons grade germs were quick and 100 deadly.

The process was simple. An outer row of chutes allowed a man to slip a contaminated corpse inside. Automation did the rest. The bodies were rolled to sealed containers and shelved to await proper handling. Knowing military inefficiency, I doubted that there were any plans to do so in the near or distant future.

My skin crawled. I didn't want to go inside. I knew I had every immunization and DNA booster known to man, but there was still that doubt, that sure knowledge of my own mortality, that gave me pause. I stared for a long time at one of the chutes and imagined microbes crawling over the slick metal surface.

The truth was, though, that I probably would have braved a lot more to rescue Quatre Winner. Since the day that he had left himself open to my attack, so that we could make an alliance, I had harbored feelings that I hadn't dared voice; respect, friendship, and maybe some awe for who he was and the sacrifices that he had made. Stronger than any of those, though, was a desire that was more than just physical. I had kept it to myself, of course. Quatre seemed purer than basic urges or the feelings of a no name mercenary.

I slid into the chute, pushing my pack of supplies ahead of me. Hitting the controls made me shiver. When the automated controls kicked in and carried me into containment, I had to resist the urge to scramble back out.

"Don't move!" a voice barked.

I froze, my eyes adjusting to the low light, and then I said, cautiously, "If I don't move, I'm going to end up sealed in a containment tube."

"Trowa?" Quatre was crouched in a corner, looking pale and disheveled. His hand gun was trained on the center of my forehead.

"Yes," I assured him and stepped off the moving rail. I watched a tube open and the track shift to enter it."Are you injured?"

"Superficial," he said as he slowly stood up. "Just hungry and thirsty. It's been days."

He smiled at me. How a man can have such blue eyes and such a smile... My heart clenched and I tried to box my reaction to him. We needed to get out of there. I had to concentrate on that objective. "I have both, but I think we should find a better hiding place."

"After my transport crashed, I didn't have much choice," Quatre replied with a dark chuckle."Oz was everywhere..."

"They still are," I replied, seeing the tension behind his smile. Spending days with diseased corpses, even sealed in tubes, would have affected me as well. "We need to cover your hair and change your clothes." Quatre looked puzzled at that and I had to explain, "You stand out too much. You need to look plain; unremarkable."

I had everything, of course. I was no man and every man and I carried the tools of my trade where ever I went. When I took out plain, military clothing, he began undressing. I tried not to look, but I couldn't help sliding glances from under the concealment of my hair.

I swallowed nervously. Quatre had a boyish shape; smooth and lightly muscled. His waist was hard and flat, though, hipbones solid and prominent. I had the sudden urge to run my tongue along his belly and I felt a hot blush on my skin. His dress slacks hung low, the belt just above where a dusting of hair would be below his navel. He hitched them up self consciously and I couldn't help feeling almost depraved when I handed him pants to change into as well. I saw his blush, but he began changing without comment.

He wore briefs and his legs were scraped raw in a few places. "Climbing out of the wreckage," he explained and I realized that I was openly staring now. I nodded and turned away self consciously, wondering how he had managed to be lucky enough to escape with only those wounds. That was Quatre, though. Some higher power always seemed to have it's hand over him.

"Thank you for coming to my rescue," Quatre was saying as he finished putting on his clothes.

I pulled out a can of hair color and stood behind him as I began spraying his bright hair brown. "Duo and Heero are undercover at a school near a target site. I'm not sure where Wu Fei is." I didn't mention that I had taken the distress signal and never informed any of them about it. There hadn't been any question that I would be the one to rescue him.

Quatre was frowning thoughtfully. "I've been thinking about things," he said. "I don't think we can win this war without working together. Chang... I think he will be the greatest challenge. He has so much anger... so much distrust."

"He's arrogant and he thinks he's stronger than everyone else," I growled as I finished and stashed the can back into my pack. "You can't win wars alone, though, so I agree with you."

He turned and smiled at me and I handed him brown contacts. He took them, looked them over curiously, and then put them into his eyes. I looked him up and down, gauging the success of my subterfuge. Plain clothes. Brown hair. Brown eyes. Does it sound ridiculous to say that none of that mattered? Quatre... glowed. Whatever made a man who he was oozed from his skin and was there to be seen. I pulled out a hat, put it on him, and pulled down the brim.

"Think about cleaning latrines," I suggested, "and don't meet anyone's eyes."

I looked around the room, at the sealed tubes, and shivered, wondering if sickness was even now infiltrating my body. Qautre's hand squeezed my upper arm and I looked down at him. "I know," he said. "I've had days to think the same thing."

I grimaced and said gruffly, "Let's go. It's night time and I think it will be raining soon. That will give us cover."

There wasn't a pass code to leave the building. We went through decontamination and slipped into the darkness outside.

Of course there was trouble. I kept out in front, as if I was the superior officer, but didn't do anything that made either of us noticeable. Soldiers are naturally suspicious, though. That's what keeps them alive. When a captain stepped into my path, frowning at us both, I had my story ready.

"You're awfully young," the man grunted. "What are your orders and who's your commanding officer?"

"We're regrouping with the 16th," I told him. "We were routed two days ago. Most of the unit was taken out. Lt. Myers decided to reassign what was left of us. We're heading for the 12th. I was hoping to catch a transport there."

I had explained our raggedness, our youth, and our cover convincingly. The 16th had indeed been nearly wiped out by a rebel offensive and they had been mostly new recruits.

The Captain was sympathetic. He clapped me on the shoulder, squeezed, and told me, "Go to the station. There are several transports leaving within the hour. Tell them Captain Angelo gave you orders to take one of them to where the 12th is stationed."

"Thank you, sir," Quatre said and sounded so weary and grateful that it was hard not to turn and make sure that he was all right.

"Children shouldn't be fighting in wars," the captain growled, "but these are desperate times."

"We're honored to fight," I told him with a salute.

"They all are... and then they die," te man sighed, rubbed at his face, and then nodded as he regained his composure. "Carry on, soldiers."

I saluted him again and Quatre and I moved past him. Only then did I glance back. Quatre's face looked tight and I had to wonder if he'd been afraid.

"It's harder to kill them when you know that they are like that, just men with hearts like anyone else," Quatre said so softly that I almost couldn't hear him. His shoulders firmed, though, and he added, "But we all chose to fight. There are no innocents here."

"No," I agreed. I had never been innocent.

Quatre needed safety and rest. I knew that I couldn't hope to get him far. The transport was a temptation, but too much of a risk. I might have chanced it alone, but Quatre was too much of an unknown factor.

"Shuttle," Quatre whispered and pointed to where one was blasting off from a makeshift landing strip. I eyed him and he explained, "It's much easier to hide with cargo than with other men."

"Security on a landing strip is tight," I informed him.

"On a regular one, perhaps," he replied and I thought it over as we moved cautiously through the crowded streets.

I decided to check out the possibility. When we reached the 'airstrip', we did find it very crude and full of security holes. There were many units working together to load and unload equipment. We were in a prime weapons manufacturing town. It had been on my target list, Quatre's as well, and the reason why he had been there in the first place. It gnawed at me that we were going to have to leave it unscathed.

"I'm coming back to finish what I started," Quatre vowed and I saw a fierce light in his blue eyes that surprised me. His defeat hadn't frightened him, it had only made him more determined to take out his target. "I'm bringing Sandrock with me. They can't be allowed to keep operating."

He had been in route, undercover as a regular citizen, when his transport had crashed. He had insisted on scouting the target, wanting to know how best to avoid casualties and still destroy the weapons factory. I would have done the same, only for different reasons. I would have scouted the target for the best way to destroy it. My mercenary 'family' had never cared too much about casualties when it had come to taking out targets, and I was of the same mind. I avoided civilians when I could, but I did what had to be done regardless. Wars aren't won by being soft.

I mulled over our options as we crouched by a sagging fence covered in vines and weeds. The rain began again and water dripped down the collar of my uniform. "No, " I decided and began walking away from the strip. It was simply too risky.

"Trowa," Quatre began to object, but then he was quiet and I imagined him chewing on his lip. He said at last, "If we go on the roads, there will be checkpoints. If we stay, they will eventually find us in one of their sweeps. What other option is there?"

"We'll walk along the creek," I told him and smiled, knowing that he was confused.

No one likes to guard sewage. Like the containment building, there is a fear and disgust that makes a man avoid it even when it's in his best interest not to. I knew that earlier hits to the town had damage several city sewage lines. The pipes had been repaired, but nothing had been cleaned up. There simply wasn't the manpower for it. The creek had taken the brunt of the spillage. It was a stinking disaster that could probably have been set on fire with a well placed match.

When Quatre first smelled our destination, he quickly guessed my plan. He ripped a bit of his shirt and tied it around his face to cover his nose, as he gave me a frown of displeasure. He didn't complain, though, or question my judgement. He wasn't a stupid man.

I covered my own nose with my military kerchief. "Eight miles," I told him, "and then another stream cuts into it. There should be enough cover to keep us hidden from fly over drones, but I can't say whether they have DNA sensors." Set to detect men, the 'sniffers', were a good alarm system for areas where men were reluctant to go.

We looked down into the fetid creek. The sides were steep and high, made even more dangerous by the rain. We would have to be careful, or mud and rock might slide down on top of us. Once down in the water, escape would prove difficult.

Quatre slid down first, his arms held out for balance. The man was graceful and well coordinated. He landed with a plop in the ooze and it came knee high. He stared down at it with a sick expression and then looked up to follow my progress down. I was far more awkward, despite my acrobatic training. The mud and rock were slippery and unforgiving if a man stepped wrong and I couldn't help fearing that I might send half the creek bank down onto Quatre's head. When I finally stood beside him, he chuckled.

"God is testing us," Quatre said.

"Not punishing us?" I wondered with a raised eyebrow.

"It can be the same thing," Quatre replied and I found a grim smile, appreciating that outlook on life.

We didn't talk after that. The smell was incredible and we concentrated on simply moving through it, hoping that the fumes wouldn't kill us before we reached the end of it.

I was almost carrying Quatre by the time we reached the fork. His strength had given out and we were both feeling ill and light headed, a sure sign that we were being poisoned. When I saw the rush of clear water flowing into the sewage up ahead, I almost believed in Quatre's god. When he managed to make it there without me carrying him completely, I wanted to offer up some thanks as well.

We cleaned off in the clear water and then climbed, shivering and weak, up onto the top of the bank under the cover of overhanging trees and bushes. It was good to just lie on our backs and breathe somewhat fresh air. It shocked me when Quatre pressed himself close to my side and threw an arm and a leg over me. His face buried into my neck and my heart almost stopped... until he said softly in my ear, teeth chattering, "Freezing."

I shuddered and felt the bite of disappointment, but I didn't spurn his embrace, whatever the reason for it. I half turned on my side and held him against me. Let him imagine that it was something different, I had a reason to hold Quatre Winner. When his breath evened out, I knew that he was asleep, his face still nestled along my neck. I couldn't afford the luxury. I had to keep watch for us both until he had recovered enough to travel again.

TBC 


	2. Edge

Kracken

Comforts

3x4

Edge

I thought that he would be embarrassed when he finally woke, but Quatre sat up, blinked as if trying to remember why he was on the edge of a sewer, and then looked down at me. I was still lying on my back, one arm behind my head as a cushion and my eyes, pinched with weariness, battling the siren call of sleep.

"You should sleep," Quatre told me. No apology or wasted time feeling guilty. There was a question in that suggestion, though, and it wasn't an order.

"Later," I told him simply and pulled him to his feet along with me as I rose. I carefully listened and surveyed the area, a dawn free of rain showing me the war torn countryside all around us.

"We need to move," he said. "We'll need to supply as well. I have contacts if we can get that far."

I nodded, but I wasn't a man who trusted anyone, certainly not a third party. I wouldn't avail myself of Quatre's 'friends' unless I couldn't find any other alternative. The first order of business, though, was to eliminate the things that would make us stand out.

"We need to wash the mud and stink off," I told Quatre and led him along the stream until I was certain that it was running clean. I gathered a certain lily from the upper bank as we walked. When I had an armful of them, Quatre raised a golden brow but didn't question me. I think having saved his life was giving me credibility. I hoped that would continue. I needed him not to question me for our survival's sake.

"Here," I said, pointing down a gentler slope of dirt to the water's edge. "Take off your clothing and wash first. Do so quickly. We don't have much time."

He hesitated and there was a slight pinking of his pale cheeks. With his hair hanging in his eyes, it made him look very young and uncertain. His fingers began working then as he began unbuttoning his shirt.

I turned away to crush my plants against a stone. The smell was faint and the pods rough. With some added river bottom sand, it would make a crude kind of soap, that would, hopefully, get both mud and smell removed. I used my military hat to bring it to Quatre and then I had to look down and swallow hard.

Quatre is beautiful. I suppose, if I wanted to keep it cynical, and clinical, I could point out that his family formulated themselves in labs; weeding out genetic flaws, and making perfect heirs. Quatre didn't look engineered though, he looked sculpted by a higher power. His body flowed, lithe like a dancer, but still on that verge of man and boy, soft in places and curved in others, yet possessing some muscle. He had scars, and I know, that if I looked closely, I might see freckles, moles, or pimples, but I couldn't see any of that just then... and didn't really care to. Standing waist deep in the stream and trying to wash, the rest of Quatre was a tantalizing mystery that I was ready to solve.

"Soap." My voice was almost irritated with my need to at least appear in control.

The blush that had been on Quatre's cheeks rocketed along his back and chest and he kept his eyes lowered as he took the hat from me and looked inside curiously.

"Add river sand and mix it," I suggested. "It will help scrub. Make certain that you keep it out of any wounds."

I turned my back and began undressing myself. I was long and lean and didn't care what anyone thought of me... or hadn't until then. Now, I felt like a mongrel bathing with a purebred... daring to bathe with one. I hated that feeling of not being as good as everyone else. Yes, I was gypsy, mercenary, and didn't have a real name, but I did things on a daily basis that most men couldn't... that even Quatre Winner couldn't do. Shame was not something that I needed to indulge in... yet I wondered if he looked and what he thought about what he saw.

Quatre handed me the soap before ducking to rinse out his hair. He came up with a splash of cold water and then walked out of the stream, his hair gold once more. I looked, of course, my eyes tracking one spot in particular. What did I hope to see? Anyone will tell you what happens to men in cold water. Yet, I looked and saw exactly what I expected to see, and then looked quickly away.

I washed and then dressed. I didn't feel eyes on me and was somewhat disappointed to find Quatre dressed and turned discretely away when I was done. The man is honorable and proper. I had no doubt, just then, that my modesty was still intact and that Quatre had never looked.

I examined us both carefully, after washing out the hat. I gave it back to Quatre and he put it on over his soggy, bright hair. He shivered, but I promised, "The sun will dry us, along with our body warmth, once we begin to walk. It is easier to explain being wet than it is to explain why we were swimming in a sewer."

Quatre nodded and then he smiled. "I'm glad that you were the one to rescue me," he said. I had a heart fluttering moment where I thought... but then I attributed the comment to his appreciating my skill, and wrestled my emotions back under control.

"I've been doing this all of my life," I told him as we began to walk. "It is the same as breathing for me."

"Then I'm slowing you down, endangering you," Quatre replied worriedly.

"I chose to take the risk," I reminded him and saw his sidelong look of gratitude. If he only knew just how much I would risk for him...

Contacts gone, and hair gold again, Quatre only had a slouching hat and a uniform to cover the fact that he was the Winner heir and a particular Gundam pilot on the run. I wondered what it was like for everyone to know your face and then shivered, glad that I was someone who was nondescript, forgotten, looked over, looked past... No Name. I was surprised by a touch of bitterness when I thought that I had long ago accepted it. I knew, though, that it sprang from wanting to be someone Quatre would notice, someone Quatre wouldn't forget.

"I was afraid," Quatre said as he slid across a slick rock and regained his balance.

I tried to process that and make sense of it. "Afraid?" I finally had to ask.

"That they would capture me," he clarified and that admission obviously bothered him. I wondered why he was confessing it to me, why he felt the need.

"They... hurt Duo badly when he was captured by them," Quatre went on. He adjusted his hat and then jammed cold hands into his pockets. "Broken ribs, a broken leg, and contusions. He told me... He told me that they beat him as soon as they dragged him out of his Gundam. They hated him. They wanted to hurt him."

"We've killed many people," Trowa replied. He didn't have to elaborate. Quatre understood. Right or wrong, daughters, sons, lovers, wives, and husbands were dead at their hands. Animosity was to be expected. "Duo was also interrogated," he mused darkly. "They wanted information badly."

"That's... criminal," Quatre said, disturbed and I had to laugh. The man could be so... pure in the midst of our dirty little war. It might have made him angry, my reaction. He didn't say anything else for awhile.

"Aren't you ever afraid?" Quatre asked out of the blue, as if we had never stopped having the earlier conversation, though it was later in the day by several hours.

"Yes," I replied. "But it doesn't matter. I still do my job."

"Then you're brave," Quatre said softly.

"Not caring and being brave are different," I argued. "You have to be afraid of losing your life to be brave."

"But you said..." Quatre was confused.

"I fear pain and a messy end, but not dying. My life has always been full of it," I explained. "I've slept soundly on battlefields and in trenches with death all around me."

Quatre shook his head as if I confused him and then he said,. "You should care about dying. I would hate for you to die."

I stopped walking and he bumped into my back. I was having a hard time believing what I had just heard him say. He cared whether I lived or died? He was the first that I could remember. I had always been expendable. Nobody. The loner. The kid. The No Name tagalong who was good with weapons. Send him, they'd often ordered. He's got nobody. Nobody cares if he dies.

Quatre snaked an arm around me as if sensing my turmoil and he... hugged me tight.

"It's okay," he whispered against my back.

No, it wasn't. Not then. Not when I couldn't... Not in the danger we were in. I pulled away and started walking again, but I was tense and emotionally shaky. I didn't want him to see it as a rejection and hated when he caught up with me and said a soft, "Sorry."

"It's not...," I began to say and then clamped down on that and said instead, "We don't have time."

"I know," he replied and then sighed, "I hate this war."

Hate it? It was all that I knew. It was my life. I might as well hate the air that I breathed. There were times, though, when there were lulls, when there were pockets of peace before the next battle. Then, I told myself, I would, perhaps, find time to let Quatre know how I felt.

When darkness descended, we crawled through a narrow, broken window into the tumbled remains of a brick building. It had enough space for lying down and an off room to use as a privy. It would do for the night and I hoped that the long line of troop carriers, that we had seen crossing our airspace for most of that day, would be long gone by morning. We hadn't made much progress, hiding mostly in depressions and under bushes to avoid detection by their instruments.

It was cold. Quatre was rubbing his hands together and then jamming them into his pockets. We couldn't chance a fire, unfortunately, but I couldn't say that sharing body warmth for the night was unappealing. As we crouched in our small space and cleared some of the floor of debris, I was surprised to learn that Quatre wasn't thinking about our predicament at all.

"This town was completely destroyed. War destroys so many lives." Quatre said, troubled.

It was an unnecessary observation. I was thinking more along the lines that, being the perfect hiding place, troops probably searched the blasted out buildings as part of their sweeps. We were taking a chance by staying there, but the wind was up and getting brisker and I didn't want to spend the night being buffeted by it and the cold.

Floor clean, we settled together in the darkness. We both didn't voice our hunger in unspoken agreement. I set my back against a fallen wall and I felt him lean into me. I couldn't help the impulse to wrap an arm around him and pull him closer.

"Cold," I explained. I felt him nod.

"We should be clear by tomorrow afternoon," Quatre mused. "I'll be happy to get out of the battle zone. There's so much I want to do, but I need Sandrock."

"Or a few good weapons," I chuckled. Depending on one form of fighting was always dangerous, especially when one depended on such a rare machine, a Gundam. It was smarter to be a man of many skills. I could pilot any mobile suit and any weapons array.

"Trowa?" Quatre said softly as if he wanted to tell me something important.

I thought of discovery, that perhaps he had heard a sound that I hadn't, but then he was slipping an arm around me as well and putting his weight on my chest. I wanted more than anything else to be able to see his eyes, to see his expression and know for sure what I was only hoping for.

"Quatre..." There was so much that we could say by only saying each other's name. How did we question, argue, and then come to an agreement with just two names? Quatre will tell you that it was soul meeting soul, but I think it was stress, adrenaline, hormones, and feelings for each other that we couldn't keep to ourselves any longer. Screw danger of discovery, we wanted to screw each other to put it bluntly.

Warm hands slid under my shirt and a kiss missed my mouth. It was tentative, expecting censure, but, instead, it met my hot kiss instead as I snatched at his lips with my own. He was on me then, groaning and whispering some sort of gratitude. I don't know for sure, I was too far gone and struggling with the mechanics of getting at least the important parts of him undressed.

Quatre is a passionate young man and he didn't disappoint me as he proved to be just as passionate in my arms. His hands are strong, used to the grip of a Gundam' controls, and his slim body was well muscled where it pressed against mine. When my hands slide between the crack of his ass, played there, and then squeezed his firm, rounded cheeks, there was a breath of uncertainty from him. Of course we couldn't go that far, but it didn't mean that I couldn't explore him there.

On our rough bed of broken concrete, we lay down as best we could in opposite directions. I knew a certain skill in this area, but Quatre was fumbling and slow to begin. When he finally took me into his warm, moist mouth, I shook all over, cursing the fact that I couldn't see the person that I was so attracted to claim me that way for the first time.

We both didn't last long. I finished him, wringing out a cry from him, as I thoroughly enjoyed the taste and feel of him in my mouth. When he had presence of mind again, he took my erection deeper than he had before and gave a powerful suck. His tongue dipped into the slit at the top at the same time, deep and rough, and I spurted while I tangled my fingers into his hair. He choked and I heard him spit, but he didn't protest when I pulled him around and chased the taste of myself on his tongue in an open mouthed kiss.

We lay together afterward, Quatre draped over me and my hand playing idly in his loose curls. He said, after awhile, almost afraid, "When it's morning again... will it be over? Am I going to be... ashamed?"

That question told me a great deal and I felt a tension within me relax. I wasn't just relief, the next in line. I was the first. I held him tightly and replied, "No shame. None at all."

Would it be over, though? I didn't have the answer to that. I couldn't make promises. I had always been a soldier. My life had always been on the front lines. I couldn't see a future that was any other way.

TBC

see Kracken's original, published yaoi fiction, The Angel Within, at under Kracken Website:http/kracken. Latest updates at: http/groups. for general fanfiction talk: http/groups. 


	3. Barbed Wire

Kracken

Comforts

3x4

Barbed Wire

It was good to keep waking with someone warm in my arms. It was something that I could get used to, but I knew better than to wish for it now. Waking my new lover was almost painful, but I knew that we couldn't stay any longer.

Quatre's grip around my waist was tight and sure. He said, sounding as if he had been awake already, "I never want to forget this moment. When things are bleakest, I will remember the sound of your heartbeat and know what I'm fighting for."

I grimaced. Not for me, I thought, but kept it to myself. A war couldn't be won for a gypsy mercenary who really didn't care if the war ended or not. Still, I had to say something. We had talked about regrets and I didn't want him to think that any of them were mine. "I don't want to lose you," I said, and couldn't go on. Promises were lies and I wouldn't lie to him.

I had said the right thing, though. A kiss found my lips and he squeezed with surprising strength. I was let go, then, and he and I found our way out of the ruble into the watery light of a smokey dawn.  
He stretched, even while we both kept low, and looked like a cat when he yawned. I couldn't help chuckling as I finger combed my hair and tried to gage where the fighting was.

A hand tangled in mine, suddenly, and I looked into blue eyes that held some embarrassment. Quatre struggled and then said, "I knew that I wasn't like... everyone else... but I never considered... being with anyone before last night."

It was an admission of his virginity and maybe a hunt for some reassurance, I thought. Even in our day, people could still talk of perversion and get ugly about two men loving each other. It wasn't a small thing, to take that leap from being on the fence about his sexuality.

I smiled and gripped his hand hard. I gave him a small bow that made him laugh and said, "I am honored." When he fell to a grin again, I pulled him close and said in his ear, "I hope that I will be your second as well."

He blushed deep red and looked down. I released his hand and tried to ease the moment. "If we keep towards that ridge, we should skirt the perimeter of the fighting. If it breaks our way, though..." I halted any speculation. We both knew our danger.

Quatre nodded his understanding and we began to walk. It was long, hard, and miserable. Hunger grew into a beast within us both before we managed to slip through enemy lines and reach our pickup point; a deserted house with only half a roof. Supplies and a com unit were hidden under floorboards and it was a blessedly short time before Heero appeared in a jump ship.

Damn dangerous things, they were a collection of steel bars made into a pilot cage, with huge thrusters and stabilizers. They could pull more gs than any vehicle built and go vertical into space in forty heartbeats, though a pilot might not be alive before free fall. The ships didn't have enough space for an artificial gravity module. It was excellent for getting in and out of hot zones, though. I hated them.

We squeezed into the cage and Heero tripped the shields at the same time that he hit thrusters. Explosions detonated all around us as our enemy tried to stop our take off. We were up and going vertical before they could zero our position, though, and I doubt that there was any pilot better than Heero in avoiding anything aimed at us airborne. While we were plastered back in the cage, he was defying gravity and operating the machine. The man's strength was frightening and that state of mind that let him operate under any condition, made me question his humanity.

When the machine rolled, I nearly threw up. It's true that I'm an acrobat of the highest caliber, but I had never had to perform under enough gs to squash bugs. Heero slipped into a flight pattern that was suicide, dodging in and out of cloud banks without a single instrument on board to tell us our position. Jump ships were stripped for a purpose, one to make them light, and two to keep them from being picked up on detection equipment.

"Six o' clock!" Quatre suddenly yelled and I was amazed to see him wide eyed and checking for enemy at every angle. I just wanted to curl up around a support and close my eyes, but he was actively engaged in helping Heero.

The ship banked in response to Quatre's warning and missel fire strafed the clouds close by us. As Heero dived to take us between mountains, I felt as if my skin had left my bones. I know I blacked out briefly and then came to with a pounding headache and Quatre gripping my shoulder anxiously.

"Okay," I slurred and blinked as Heero suddenly dropped straight down into what seemed like certain death into treetops. He slipped easily between tree trunks, though, angling the ship sideways at the last moment onto a pad of dirt under the shadow of a cliff face.

We waited anxiously as Heero shut the engines down, but nothing pursued us. He allowed himself a grim smile and then he was punching a button that folded back the shielding and hopping out as if he had just gone for walk in the park. I was slower, every muscle protesting and my mind still convinced that we were still weaving in and out of mountains. Quatre was right beside me, a hand on my elbow, as we made our way to a primitive hanger for our Gundams.

"Hey, buddy!" Duo yelled as he hopped down from a low platform by the foot of his Deathscythe. He wiped grease from his hands onto a rag as he approached Heero. "Did you give 'em hell?"

Heero shrugged, as if Duo annoyed him, and said, "Of course, " but the satisfied smile hadn't left his lips. Duo, in that priest uniform that still puzzled me, grinned at him and then looked past him to us.

"You guys all right?" he called.

"Now we are," Quatre replied wearily.

"Nothing a bed and a meal won't cure," I replied.

"We're supposed to be a team, remember?" Duo admonished us. "Quatre takes off and crashes and you go after him without any backup. We can't afford to lose anybody to the dumbass disease."

"He saved my life!" Quatre suddenly snapped, and then, when Duo's eyes went wide, he shook his head and rubbed his forehead. "I'm sorry... I'm tired... later."

Duo blinked and then rubbed the back of his neck. "Okay, I understand," he said."Let's debrief later. Come on, Heero. " He turned to Heero, where the man was stripping his flight suit."You can debrief me now."

Duo snickered, but Heero looked irritated. He was wearing shorts and a tshirt that clung with sweat to his muscled body. He pulled it away from his skin in disgust and Duo wrinkled his nose.

"Hit the showers and then debrief me?" Duo suggested. Heero nodded and headed in that direction.

Trowa grimaced. He couldn't imagine those two together. It didn't make any sense, but then neither did Chang WuFei's fascination with Trieze. He supposed, looking at himself and Quatre, that their new relationship probably seemed just as odd.

"Are they going to..." Quatre's voice trailed off and I looked at him. He was pink to his ears, eyes wide. Having sex tends to give you new eyes and new ears for picking up innuendos.

"I hope not," I groaned. "It's not something I want to think about." I worked a sore arm and then gave him a tender look. "Do you want them to know about us?"

Our relationship might be an embarrassment to him in other company. I saw him look concerned, but he wasn't realizing consequences, he was thinking about me. "If that's what you want?"

I chuckled. "No, it's of no concern to me."

He looked relieved and then hooked an arm around me. "Good, because I think you need help to your bunk."

It wasn't a long walk, but something began heating up halfway there and it didn't respect a bodies weariness or pain. It wanted and it felt safe enough, at last, to take it. My hand slid down from Qautre's waist to a hard hip that flexed as he walked. He glanced at me and a small smile played on his lips. Permission? I hoped that it was.

My room had a lock on the door and a hard bunk with a scratchy blanket. It was more than I was used to, though, and Quatre didn't seem to mind as he turned, pressed against me, and tried to eat my lips as I maneuvered us to it and sat down.

Virgin. New to this. Don't go too fast. My mind was full of advice, but neither of us were listening. My shirt was peeled off and clever hands were tugging at my belt and zipper while I tasted Quatre's neck and nuzzled my face into his hair. We both needed a shower. We were both covered in road dust and the smell of burnt jump ship fuel. It didn't matter. It was as if they were aphrodesiacs, reminding us of our shared adventure, our share danger. We undressed, almost ripping our clothes in our haste.

My Quatre was strong and slim under his clothes. I was long, hard, and lean. We battled for supremacy, clutching, pushing, and pulling until we sorted ourselves out and Quatre was beneath me, my weight pressing him down into the thin mattress. His legs wrapped around me, muscled thighs squeezing tight and perfect feet locking behind the small of my back. He arched and stretched his arms above his head, looking at me with passion filled blue eyes that were fearless. He let me shove my erection against him, dry humping against his smooth skin and leaving a hot trail of precum. His hands came down and twisted in my hair.

I tried to think as I bit his neck and then licked with a rasping tongue down to his collar bone. I needed... yet I didn't have anything. We were both leaking hard, ready to come already as we writhed together. I reached down and coated myself with our heat, as well as Quatre. As I worked a finger into him, I hoped I was slick enough to pass a tight, untried entrance.

I wouldn't hurt him. His feet unlocked and he looked nervous, letting me stretch him and knowing what I intended. I needed him to tell me what he wanted.

"Love," I breathed as he loosened. "Tell me..."

"It's... okay..." Quatre breathed back, and his legs lifted, uncertain and hesitant, not sure how we were going to do what he expected was about to happen.

Footsteps walked the hallway outside. Quatre's eyes darted that way, but no one tried the door and they passed on, It was a warning not to make too much noise and it felt somewhat exciting, knowing that our comrades were out there, perhaps oblivious... perhaps not, to what we were doing.

When I pushed Quatre up, curling him and bringing his entrance to me, Quatre shivered and his eyes half closed, anticipating pain. His hand on me hurt. He was clutching. I pressed past the tightness and sheathed myself in heaven. My hips bore down, seating me fully, and Quatre closed his eyes tight, his fingers making bruises on my shoulders.

Quatre's body relaxed all at once, loosening to my assault. It was heat and passion and slapping bodies together after that. Quatre discovered the intense pleasure of what we were doing and all control left him. He became a demon of desire in my arms as we found completion in a groaning orgasm that shook us both to our cores.

We collapsed together, nuzzling and kissing and I smiled, sated, at my lover as he gave me a drowsy smile in return.

"Trowa Barton," Quatre said at last, through gritted teeth as he gave my face a sharp pat. "You are on the bottom next time, got that?"

I grinned. "Sore?"

"That hardly describes it... but..." Quatre seemed to be assessing. "That was damned good."

He chuckled and it was a sweet sound.

"OH, GOD HEERO!" A muffled voice, full of passion, suddenly came through the wall.

"Shut up idiot, they'll hear you!" Heero's voice barked back, sounding strained.

I grimaced and Quatre blushed to the roots of his hair. "I'll never understand that," I told him.

Quatre grinned and traced a finger around one of my nipples. "And they won't understand about us, either, I'm sure."

I snorted, thinking about our very different lives, and then shrugged. "They always say, war makes unlikely bedfellows." I gathered Quatre to me and decided to drown out our neighbors with some noise of our own. 


End file.
